The decision to move a loved one to a safe independent or assisted living community brings up a lot of emotions. Deciding to leave the familiar surroundings and comfort of ‘home’ is usually a challenge. Researching, touring and selecting the best facility for your loved one can be a very overwhelming and time-consuming process. Although a ton of paperwork and the actual move-in will soon follow, the toughest hurdle for family members is not on any “to do” list; and that hurdle is called ‘guilt’. In my experience, guilt it is one of the biggest and most common emotional challenges faced by family member
Before, during or after the transition, guilt will most certainly show up. The transition can be especially challenging if your loved one stokes the fiery furnace of guilt while being resistant from the start. But even when you have the cooperation of a loved one and they understand the decision, guilt can still show up unexpectedly.
Here are a few insights to help combat these feelings that could prove useful in the process.
- Recognize feelings of guilt. Understanding the source of your guilty feelings and remind yourself of the reality of the situation. This is not anyone’s ‘fault’.
- Be realistic Does your loved one have a serious health condition or need a much higher level of care than is possible for you to provide? If your health is suffering or someone could get injured in an effort to provide care, you shouldn’t feel guilty for making a change.
- Don’t be hard on yourself. You haven’t failed as a caregiver. You’ve made a smart decision to get the help they need. You are taking care of your loved one by doing the right thing. Guilt sounds like, “I should have done…” or “I could have…” and “I promised them…”
- Seek Support Gather as many supportive family members and friends that you can to help you stay positive during this process. Contact an advocate like VIP Senior Placement, where experienced professionals can help lighten the load and lend helpful insight with an understanding heart.
- Be OK with everything being OK. Guilt can show up because we set our expectations too high, make a decision, then manage to ‘disappoint’ ourselves. Keep your expectations reasonable and be “ok” with your decision. Remember, you’re doing your best you and you can’t plan for every possible outcome.
- Give it Time. This transition is life changing. Give your loved one some time to adjust. It’s been our experience that it will take 6-8 weeks to feel more at home and get comfortable. During this “transition period”, give them space, but don’t abandon them. Your loved one will adjust as the days go by. Keep in touch with the caregiving and administrative staff, as everyone is adjusting to one another.
VIP Senior Placement is a free, professional service that specializes in helping you locate the perfect assisted living or appropriate senior housing for your aging loved one. We provide a hands-on, strategic approach to help families locate and understand the options surrounding the assisted living environment while transitioning their loved one with confidence. #AssistedLiving #IndependentLiving #MemoryCare #arizonaassistedliving #seniorplacement
The Holiday Talk
The holiday season is upon us once again and that means spending time and making memories with family and friends. It is also a very good time to check in with your aging senior and hold a family discussion around whether they may be ready for independent living or assisted living in Arizona. While it might not be time to move right away, having the discussion in advance will make it easier when the time does come.
At VIP Senior Placement, we realize an honest, open discussion about this subject may not be easy on families. As we age, it becomes more difficult to admit when we need help or to talk about down-sizing from home and relocating to assisted living. The connection of families from across the miles at this time of year can set a warm tone and make this important conversation a little easier.
Here are a few tips to keep in mind:
- Follow their lead and listen carefully to what is important to them as they express their perceived care needs.
- Regardless of your past relationship with them, respect their position and take it slow.
- Be prepared to provide some information about some local care options. This will help put your loved ones at ease.
- Involve as many family members as possible to help support this important conversation.
Senior living services can make life easier for everyone involved and meet the changing demands of your aging loved one. There are several quality senior living communities that offer 24/7 care in Scottsdale, Mesa, Phoenix and the surrounding areas. There’s no reason to wait. Learn the options available to you today, in advance of “the event” that makes this conversation not only more difficult, but mandatory.
Contact a VIP Senior Placement Advisor to help you determine the best options for your aging senior.
At VIP Senior Placement, we know that seniors and their families can encounter a lot of complex issues when it becomes time to leave home and relocate to assisted living. Every week I meet with aging seniors and their families who are blindsided with the daunting task of relocating to assisted living from a rehab, hospital or current home. I have yet to meet someone who is “excited” or “looking forward” to the change they are about to encounter and a new living environment. What’s more, I have yet to meet a family who knew where to start and had plenty of time on their hands to achieve the task. This is why we strive to be an advocate for families at this sensitive and pivotal time.
Our personal service is absolutely free and we will be there through the entire process to offer advice, guidance, insight and education about the local senior housing market, so you can make a “better” informed decision. Find out more at www.vipseniorplacement.com and put our years of industry experience and knowledge of the local market to work for you and your family.
Have you ever heard of the “Aid and Attendance Veteran’s Pension Benefit”?
I have recently posed this question to some elderly Veterans at a local “Senior Expo” here in Mesa. It was alarming to discover how many were completely unaware of this veteran’s pension benefit and what it was all about. We’ve all heard of the ‘Unknown Soldier”. I like to call this one the “Unknown Benefit”. The experience I had this week inspired me to write this blog for the men and women who gave so much to protect our country’s freedoms, to help them learn a little more about the “Unknown Benefit”.
What is Aid and Attendance?
Aid and Attendance is a veteran’s pension benefit specifically designed for those who served during wartime and today require the “aid and attendance’ of a caregiver to perform daily living activities. Those who are disabled, blind, etc. and/or currently living in a nursing home or assisted living in Arizona are likely the best candidates. If both husband and wife are veterans, the benefit can help reduce the overall cost of senior care, especially if they require the care and supervision found at senior housing options like assisted living or memory care.
How Do I Qualify for Aid and Attendance Veteran’s Pension Benefit?
According to www.veteranaid.org, you must submit an application and there are basic qualifications that must be met, both medically and financially.
“The application will require a medical evaluation from a physician, current medical issues, net worth limitations, and net income, along with out-of-pocket medical expenses.”
For the medical side, minimally, you must require assistance with activities of daily living (ADL’s) including but not limited to:
- Eating, etc.
Financially, the qualifications can be a little gray, but in general, your total assets must be less than $80,000, not counting the house and car. The benefit can be put towards monthly expenses for assisted living, in-home care or other medical and living expenses. Payments are made directly monthly like a social security by the U.S. Treasury Department.
How Do I Apply for Aids and Attendance?
As should be expected, the application process can be both a paperwork and bureaucratic nightmare. In most cases, the approval process can take 6-9 months with those over the age of 90 able to ask for their application to be expedited . Here are a couple links for printable forms to submit for wartime veterans who have served 90 days or more, and this link is for the surviving spouse of wartime veterans. Despite the lengthy process, the really good news is that when you are finally approved, your benefits are back paid retro-active to your application date.
How Much Can I Receive From This Benefit?
According to the latest information released concerning the 2017 rates for Aid and Attendance, the benefit for a wartime vet with a living spouse could be as much as $2,100/per month. A single, surviving spouse could receive as much as $1,100/per month to help with their on-going care needs.
Where Can I Get More Details about the Aid and Attendance Veterans Benefit?
There is a free, one-minute questionnaire available that is helpful if you are trying to figure out if you or a loved one may qualify. Visit www.veteranaid.org for more details on the application process and complete step-by-step instructions on how to apply for Aids and Attendance.
In honor of all living and deceased veterans who have fought for our freedom, I want to extend my hand and thank you for your service on this Veteran’s Day 2017. Thank you. It’s a privilege to give back where I can and assist our elderly vets and help their families learn more about the government benefits for veterans.
Talk About Assisted Living
Convincing an elderly friend or loved one to “get help” or move from the comfort of their home due to a recent health crisis or on-going medical condition, can be quite the challenge. It’s not easy for any of us to admit when we are unable to care for ourselves. As a family member trying to find assisted living in the local market, you can be overwhelmed quickly with the task of finding the best solution on your own. Without some professional assistance, this can be a stressful, time consuming chore. Add the dynamic of medical condition, urgency, other family members being involved, etc. and you have a recipe for an ill-guided decision.
At VIP Senior Placement, we are a part of the solution. We help you navigate the best care options available in the local market place, based on your specific needs. Our personal approach to placement in Arizona has resulted in 100’s of families safely and successfully moving a loved one to assisted living, independent living or memory care.
What about Assisted Living?
An Assisted Living option is usually best suited for those who are challenged by daily activities such as bathing, dressing, making meals and taking medications on time. They offer semi-private and private apartment-style rooms, that vary in size and price.
Most Assisted Living Facilities offer
- Assistance with personal care (bathing, dressing, etc.)
- Three meals prepared daily
- 24/7 caregiver staff
- Laundry and Housekeeping
- Daily medication management
- Social Activities
- Limited Medical Staff
Pricing and costs for assisted living vary based on the type of care required, amenities and the configuration of the room (Studio vs 1-bedroom vs shared room). The key to making the best housing choice for your loved one is to match your level of care, health, lifestyle and financial needs with a local facility. While assisted living facilities may offer similar services and appear the same, they are not all created equal. It’s important to that you focus on their ability to address the specific, immediate needs of your loved one, and have a plan going forward into the future.
Get A Head Start
It’s always a good idea to get a head start and have the conversation about what the future holds sooner, rather than later. Do it while your loved one is still in good physical and mental health to avoid legal complications down the road. Look for some of the evidence they may be struggling, as covered in our blog article entitled, “The Silent Cry for Help”. It may not be time to move in to assisted living. it may just be time to consider independent living or other options in helping your loved one with day-to-day living. Either way, having a plan and getting them used to the idea of what may lie ahead, will make it easier to talk about when the time actually comes.
Call us today at 480-717-9868 for more information on how we can help you.
Our personal, professional service is always FREE* to families and their loved ones. Call today to put our knowledge and experience to work for you. We will educate, inform and personally take you by the hand to show you the local marketplace and help you navigate and negotiate Assisted Living, Independent Living and Memory Care in Arizona.
*The State licensed Assisted Living Facilities in Arizona compensate us for the educational service we provide. You will never be billed for our services.
Do I need a VIP?
When the time comes to relocate a loved one, there’s no substitute for personal, hands-on, compassionate assistance from VIP Senior Placement. We have helped hundreds of families relocate their elderly to safe, economical and compassionate care environments. We make sure you have an advocate by your side, every step of the way, making sure you understand the nature of the assisted living, independent living or memory care you are looking for. Choosing an assisted living or other senior housing community is usually an important, life changing decision. When you have the on-site, professional, trusted service of VIP Senior Placement guiding you through the process, you will have confidence and peace of mind in these choices.
Do I really need hands-on, free professional assistance?
When I first meet families, the majority are already in a crisis situation with their loved one and have had little or no time to evaluate the local marketplace. Confusion and a sense of being overwhelmed is pretty standard. Yet, they have been told their loved one is discharging later this week and cannot go back to their current living environment. Where do they turn? Who is there to help? What services do they really need to look for? And where? Will these places be able to handle my Mom’s bitterness toward the whole idea? What is the cost of assisted living in Phoenix? Is there medical staff available 24 hours a day? How safe and secure is it for my wandering Dad with early dementia? These are all very valid questions. The place to start finding answers for the local market here in Phoenix, is to contact VIP Senior Placement for a first-class, hands-on, senior relocation services.
What about Internet Placement Services?
There are a lot of very savvy technical people on the internet. They know how to build databases that will feed you information on every single facility on the planet. There will always be more than you need on the internet and you can quickly become confused about the services and what is truly needed in your individual instance. There may even be a friendly voice on the other end of the line who understands and has ‘all the details’ to help you ‘find’ what you need. After all, you really don’t know the first thing about assisted living facilities in Scottsdale, or independent living in Mesa. What is the difference in costs and services offered at these senior housing facilities? ut when that part is over, they just give you a list of facilities and you’re on your own.
All senior placement companies seek to provide the highest level of assistance they can to help seniors and their families in the local community. That’s what I’d like to think, even though my experience in the past 9 years here in Maricopa County tells me otherwise. In the end, we all have these things in common:
- An information gathering/Assessment/Evaluation process.
- The same Senior Living resources to choose from in the Valley.
- We are all compensated by contract directly with the facility, and never the families.
You Deserve Personal, On-Site Service
Families don’t just need a friendly voice and ‘all the right answers’ during this critical time. They will also require education and an understanding of the nature of the local market while considering their loved one’s personality and individual needs.
It goes without saying, that everyone is unique and has certain personal characteristics that make their medical condition genuine to them. We consider the personal, social, financial and geographical location factors involved and begin to strategize together with you and your family, to make this transition as smooth as possible.
Once we complete an assessment and discuss the game plan and road map going forward, we get to work while you handle other affairs. We immediately begin to contact administrative personnel at qualified facilities, to check availability and discuss our specific care needs. In most cases, we will personally visit the facility and verify the conditions, negotiate general terms and make sure the staff and management team are clear about your expectations. All of this is done before we take you on a personally guided tour, holding your hand every step of the way, giving you as much peace of mind as possible in your decision.